Do you have those nights? You wake up hours before the alarm clock knowing that the next day is a day when you really need to be well rested, and yet...
This is one of those nights... As usual, I spent the night in self-flagellation mode. Questioning everything I've said or done. Wondering once again why I can't just be satisfied. Why I can't just accept things the way they are. Why I always want to make things better. Or at least my version of better.
You see, if I would just settle, life would be so much easier. But something has happened in me...
In some of my darkest moments, in the not too distant past, I have prayed that Jesus would bring me home. My preference would be that He would bring me and all of His faithful home by returning again and claiming the earth as His. But there have also been times when I just wanted to go...even if it meant going all by myself. Now I see how selfish that is, and I don't want that at all. Of course, there are my children and husband to consider. But it's more than that...
There are so many people in the world who don't know Him. They haven't yet been introduced to Jesus. Or maybe they have but they haven't reached out to shake His hand yet. They may be asking lots of questions or not see Jesus alive in the people who claim to know Him. I have been overwhelmingly burdened for these people in recent months. Of course, there's salvation and the promise of heaven. And that is such an awesome future, I can't imagine how anyone could not choose it. But there is more to it than that...
There is today. Today when I wake up knowing that whatever "man" throws at me, God will love me. Knowing that even if I do screw up, God will forgive me. That because of Jesus, God won't even see those sins. Knowing that even as I need to make a difficult decision, I don't do it alone. God, the Creator of the entire universe, is here to help me make this choice. Knowing that when I cry because of my own hurts or the hurst of those I love, He cries too.
And I want everyone to know the Jesus I know. I want everyone to be able to rest in the knowledge that they are never alone. That they never have to make a difficult choice by themselves. When I think about people I love who don't know Him, my eyes fill with tears. My heart grows heavy.
And so, I'm not willing to settle. I'm not willing to just sit back and let things be. I want it to be better. I want people to know Jesus. And I want to be a part of making that happen. I want to be a part of sharing Him with others and I want to be surrounded with people who have the same desire. Who are hungry to let others know what Jesus has done in their lives. I'm sure this sounds corny, or maybe even a little loony.
But God wants so much more from us. And by His amazing grace, I want to give it to Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment