So things have been a bit rough around here. Lots of transitions. Lots of tears. Lots of hurt feelings. Lots of questions. I quit my job. We left our church. Our kids don't have youth groups. I'm in a new Bible study and a new small group of women. It feels like there are so many things in life that are unfamiliar.
And yet, there is a constant. We are all still here. My loving husband, my precious, teenage daughters, and our lovable, though annoying dog. We are all still here. And God. He's still here too...
But I just wish He were really here. The other morning I was trying to talk with God. You know, Bible on my lap. Journal open. Devotional finished. Ready to pour out my thoughts. Just trying to talk with God. And trying really hard not to do all the talking. To listen too. You see, when your life is turned upside down because of events at your church, you really need God to weigh in.
And so, I found myself in tears. Because I really wanted God to be sitting in the chair beside me on my front porch. Listening to me. But more than that, talking to me. Telling me how to respond to a tough request. Telling me what He thinks I should do with my time now. Telling me that I'm okay. Telling me that even though churches hurt people, He won't. Telling me that the people I love who were hurt with me will be okay too.
And I know. Many will say all of those answers can be found in the Bible. But you know what, not all answers are in the Bible. If they were, we wouldn't need God. We could just read the users manual. But we do need God. We do need to talk to Him. We do need to cry out our pains to Him. We do need to look to Him for our answers. If all the answers were in the Book, we wouldn't need God Himself.
So, I'll continue talking. And I'll continue trying to listen. And I know God will answer me. He will talk back to me. He will whisper the words He knows I need to hear.
Will I be listening?