really thinking about the cross...

crucify him...hail, king of the jews...crucify him...

I decided I was going to read through the Gospels. You see, I'm not great about reading God's Word. I like doing Bible studies and reading my devotional, but to just sit down and read the Bible...just not my thing. But I know it will help. I know that as I continue to seek His face, it will help me to know more about Him. And so I decided to read the Gospels. They tell lots of stories and I really like a good story. There's not as much war, fighting, and bloodshed in the Gospels as there is in the old Testament, so I like reading it more.

Well today, just a couple of weeks after celebrating Christ's birth I came upon the story of Christ's crucifixion. The story of His torment. His suffering. His pain. The crown of thorns jammed into the skin on his head, blood dripping into his eyes. The weight of the cross he carried as he bore the scars of the beating he had received all day long. The nails hammered into his hands. The humiliation of being spit upon...made fun of...I can hardly bear to think of it all.

But as I do, I can't help but be overwhelmed by my own shame. You see, I'm the reason Jesus died on the cross. My sin. My really bad choices. My decisions not to live a life of purity or restraint. My humanness. I'm the reason Jesus had to die on a cross.

I realize I'm not the only sinner in the world. But when I think of what Jesus did, I take it personally. I believe He really did die for me. And I am in awe. Someone died a horribly painful and humiliating death...for me? There's no way I'm worth that!

And that's just the point. I'm not worth that. Neither are you. And yet Jesus did it anyway. He died for all of us. He was the ultimate sacrifice. No more sacrificing goats or lambs or cows or other barnyard animals. Jesus paid it all.

Jesus paid it all
All to him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

And when before the throne
I stand in him complete
Jesus died my soul to save
My lips shall still repeat

Jesus paid it all
All to him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

Jesus. How can you love me that much? Do I love you in equal measure?