The girls are really struggling. They are actually choosing to go hungry rather than eat the rice and beans again. Last night they were babysitting and just couldn't get it down. I feel so bad for them. And yet they are still determined. For them, today is the last day. Tomorrow is Catharine's birthday and we will be celebrating with the traditional cinnamon bun. Of course, Anna will not be left out. It just doesn't seem right. They have done a great job and I hope will take some of these lessons with them. We have talked about it a lot and I look forward to the conversation at tonight's dinner table.
I'm actually feeling pretty good. I'm really hungry, but other than that I feel like I have a little more energy and I know I'm much more aware of how dependent I am on food. I still find myself trying to imagine what it would really be like to do this...and not know it was going to end. We are so incredibly blessed by all of the bounty around us.
So I asked the girls earlier in the week why God chose to put them in a family that had so much. Why didn't He put them in a family that was homeless? Or that wasn't able to eat three varied, delicious meals a day. Neither of them had more than an "I don't know" as an answer, but I hope they will think about that. I pray they will wonder at the blessing they have received just by being born in middle class white America. I pray that when they feel it just isn't fair that they don't get what other kids get or to go on vacations that other kids do that they will remember how much they did get.
And I pray that I will too. It's so easy to try to teach lessons to your kids or others and not to learn them yourself. So I pray that when I start feeling sorry for myself that I will remember all that I do have. All the many ways God has blessed me. And I will give Him thanks instead of asking him why.
Thank you, Jesus.